ever since yesterday i stop the last part,
i hardly to continue cos i was crying real hard..
feels like talking to Kenny,
but i dont know how should i tell,
although he knew drew...

i messaged up Q,
he said he free to talk,
i din speak anything,
but keep crying...
he getting used of it,
cos i always call him when im crying hard...
he asked is it family matter,
but i keep crying,
till i stop awhile,
"i just cant let go him, i really can't..."
"why u never try to catch back since u cant let go?"
"i cant anymore, thats the end..."
i told him how me and drew start,
how drew treat me good,
how drew said he love me,
how drew being unique one..
how regretful i am..
i talked and talked,
my tears wont stop...
"ever since the last i asked to patch back, he is gone... forever gone....."
then,
i cant control anymore,
cry harder and even harder...
i can't breathe,
i said i wanted to hung up,
he don't let,but i wanted to..
i cry in the silent room..
i msg Q said thx to him,
he called again but i cant talk much,
he asked me to take mc on the next day,
find him at kl since he off day,
i cant cos im afraid getting worst..
i hung up........

Monday:
i wake up,
knowing my eyes were pain...
looking at the mirror,
im shocked...
my face my eyes....
were swollen....
i dont dare to let family saw that,
after take bath,
clean up then i move to my own car and drive to work..
my eyes were pain,
i cant really open up and drive when the sun shine to my sight...
when i reach office,
my colleague all were shocked,
why i look pale,
seriously pale~
im acting like im sick,
they believed...
whenever i go toilet,
i look myself at the mirror,
i cant blive thats me....
after i cried that hard..
goshh..
how worst that can be....
till time slowly passby,
i didnt look that worst anymore...
till when i reached home,
at least....
i still back to the normal one,
play with the lil one...

still the time to go,
still the way to walk,
still the regret to suffer,
there no way turning back...
all i can do,
keep walking.....
and walking.............

telling myself to smile now,
cos knowing he is really happy with the girl,
the girl gave him everything he ever wanted...
and knowing the facts,
he aint mine anymore...

if time could turn back, i rather i never knew you, i never meant to make things goes wrong, never meant to hurt you ......

keep walking,
Lilian....
keep walking........

*tears.........*