Yesterday was an awfully hard feeling after work…Staying in the office, when I sought to leave, Its raining for awhile, After it stops then I quickly leave the office…

While on the way, It started to rain real heavy. I can’t barely look what’s in front of me…I drive as slow as I can, But it is too heavy ..Makes me really scared and my mood getting strange…

I cried…..

The rain wakes up my pain…
The pain that I lost him…
The pain that I can’t ever take off from my mind…
The stories we had,
The memories…

Looking at one advertisement board with a very blur visual I had….

D: you know I like the advertisement…something attract me…unique…
B: what unique?
D: I love you…
B: ishhh! I thought what so unique… fine~ u win!!
D: hahaha..

Although he won most of the time,
But I managed to fight back with tricks…

B: darling…
D: yes baby?
B; I love you~ yes! I won!~
D: ehhh, no leh, I din ask what or why also~~
B: I don’t care, I win!!!
D: no leh, cannot like that 1 baby..
B: I don’t care,i want win~!
D: ok la ok la,u win u win..
B: muahahhaa… yes!!
D: tricky you….like that also can…

B: ppl who lose at the end of the game, shud gv the winner something k?
D: what is that?
B: I think mine u think urs…but tell u 1st,I want suprises~!
D: suprises? Hmm… I want … holiday with you…
B: deal~! See who gonna win~
D: for sure me.. u so gonna go holiday with me….

But the game,
Couldn’t happen anymore …
the players were gone eternally….

I cried in pain…
Till my eyes hurt…
I can’t open my eyes properly,
I almost lost control while im driving…

When I thought im happy for him,
My hearts were in pain…
The pain were too deep,
I’m getting used,
Till I can’t differentiate pain with habits...

I asked myself,
How further I can walk with this?
There no more how further,
Ever since we broke up,
I started to walk this path,
When I looking backward,
That is that far I walked,
But the pains were along with me…
The memories I wished to get back,
The laughs I wished to own,
It never comes to me…
I grab as hard as I could,
But it break into pieces,
Slowly drops from while im holding it…

As how much I wished,
It won’t ever happen…
Stop under the tree after I reached home,
Looking at the place he used to park and wait me…
The tears won’t stop…

B: u really can come my house without gps eh?
D: told u I have my map book… it follow me to wherever I go….
B: if I throw, how ah?
D: u dare ma throw lor baby..
B: I really wo..
D: don’t lar baby~~
B: hehe.. how dare….

It still non stop rain after I stop,
Its time for me to wake up …
Whipped away my tears,
Clear my muddle look,
Take my umbrella,
And smile when I step into my home…

There was the pain hides behind the smiles, im walking further my future, the future I wont know how it suppose to be… how deep I fell, was how hard to get thru… There I learned, what’s love and what’s pain….

Part II:
Girls were never satisfy how they look..
As what I’m having now…
Wear nice to work,
With contact lens,
But my eyes…
Still pain…
Guess after crying,
And the contact lens isn’t suits me…
My eyes are freaking pain,
My tears won’t stop,
Colleague thought I cried while working…
Going to consult eye doctor…
Otherwise,
I might be blind…