Well,
im appear again in my own world..
here still the place i spend and share something which nobody listen and nobody knows..

been gone for around 2 months plus i guess,
and plenty of things happened ..
shouldnt say recently ...
but its long time perhaps...
ever since i broke up with him,
and i nvr blog due to healing progress..
hows the status now?
still healing,
but feels better..
at least healing together with my own sick,
which till now havent recover yet,duhhh...

got sick due to im over exhausted and over sadness,
were real emo for my own and sick for my own till i got into real shit sick..
and when im sick,
chat with him and its over for us...
i am deeply sad of that,
but thats the only things i can do,
jz to get off from his life...
which im pretty sure,
he must be real happy with his life now..
is better than i hurt him.. isnt it?

if that is,

im glad enough =)

i wanted to tell him,
i am deeply sorry for what i've done,
i never meant to hurt you..
i swear to god,i never meant to do anything to hurt you..
but becos of 1 thing..
which i found out...
i do want a simple things as well,
which is i wan to find myself,
and it makes me complicated now...

i dunno where i went.
when being with you,
i do sooo happy cos i found someone,
but not me myself..
ended up i keep hurt you..
till when i realized,
its too late ....
and no matter what i said,
not goin back to the starting point..

Drew,
you might wont read this,
i know u already deleted me in msn and fb..
so i cant say a single sorry ..
cos u said already forgiven..
but still...
I'm Sorry...
this time is real,
cos till i realized when i heal myself from time to time..
i found out i done a lot of mistakes which i shouldnt done to you..
and i hurt you dat deep..
i am so regret..
but i cant do anything else anymore..
all i can do,
i smile and pray everyday when i wake up,
just to wish you are happy everyday,
to repay my mistakes...
i do it everyday from bottom of my heart,
cos i am sincerely sorry...
almost every moment everyday i still think about you,
and yeah,
i still cant let go ..
and i believe i really fall in love this time...
and what im having now,
which is a balasan,
that i never wake up on time,
to appreciate...
and i lost someone who loved me that much..
and now,
im single,
and tend to be single as far as i could,
till when i found myself...
till when i could learn how to appreciate someone ..
but still,
no matter how far i go,
drew will always in my heart..
and i dont know why...
i can feel you with me too,
i have a strong feeling on that...
i do...
and i even can smile ...
just becos of you.

Drew,
I am still that silly,
hoping you could come back..
however,
what i really hope now,
i just want you to be happy with who you are now,
and found someone you love...
and from the bottom of my heart,
i sincerely wish you,
and i always there for you,
even you cant see me ..
but try,
feel me...
i am really there for you...
always do...

whatever i write from above,
is what the real things i wanted to say afar...
whatever i said on the past,
it is harsh enough,
and Im sorry,
i lied and hurt you...

You cant trust me,
but trust me this time once last time,
on what i post above,
that i am...
sincerely....

I love you and i do,
I am sorry and i do,
I hope you are happy and i do,
I hope whatever hopes in my heart,
just to hope drew you are happy...

Sorry,
i hurt you ...
Sorry,
I can't be the girl beside you now cheering you..
i hope i could,
but you wont know,
how much i want,
just to be with you.
=)

I had failed you,
as i had failed myself..
i should wake up on time,
but no matter what i said now,
it seems nothing for you,
cos there is no love from you toward me..
but still...
I love you,drew...
Thats what i found,
from each day each mistakes i found what i've done,
i felt sorry and also i love you more and more each day...
which i laughs over myself,
cause i never thought,
i really never thought,
I already fall in love,
and the feeling.... is awesome....
thou,you are not beside me,
hearing im saying i love you ...
i been silly enough to tell other people to get up and wake up,stop loving a same person and stop being loyal...
till now,i realized ... i am one of them,
cos when a real love comes to me,
i cant let go anymore,
i am stupid enough,let go everytime when with you,
till when i lost you,only dunwan to let go,
silly huh?..
haha...
what to do,
this is what i should face duhh,
cos i done the mistakes of hurting you =)

Drew,
Thanks for the one short moment you spent with me,
it is enough for me to remember cos it is precious enough..
Im sorry i couldn't go on the story,as i ruined it...
yet i hope the new chapter without me,
could makes things goes even better for you..

I walk on now,
but i bring along the memories between us,
although short but meaningful enough..
enough to accompany me,
to makes me smile and memorize all that while im walking towards...

Well,
i dont know is it he will saw this,
but....
i guess just my own world,
and i might keep continue post it...
since,
the blog of so call "DREW n LIAN" ,
is no longer meaningful,
cos drew is gone =p
and here,nobody is reading,
and i am back!!
and continue post the feelings from me towards him..
and also,
and..
and...
duhh,
my own feelings about my current life =)

still......
i am sick and i am sleepy >.<"

hold on that long just to post,

and i din realized,

im meleter again!!

goshhhh....

time to sleep duhhh...

night~to..... myself perhaps?

yeah... my own world =)