because i hurted him
make him changed..
after he said he forgv..
i felt dat he no longer like last time,
not dat sayang me..
notice me...
maybe jz not dat long we get back,
so i felt so..
but why i think so...
cos i cant feel he really love me like last time..
and dats why he treated me real cold..
which i guess,
i deserve to let him hurt me this time...
and keep crying whole day...
tears cant stop falling down...
how i wish i can be tough enough..
im tired of being so....
i hope im free enough,
free from this nightmare...
the nightmare which bother me since........
so long ago...

i wish i can tell out how i feel,
wat i faced,
but ....
i dunno wats wrong with me...
im really lost..
and i dunno which way i should follow to come out from this lost way...
he guide me,
but i pushed him off again n again
till nw he fed up and no longer care me like he do...
like i cant feel his love anymore...
like he will walk off soo,not im the one who push...
and im fear...
scared that will happen..
even soon...
i cant bear to think wat am i suppose to do dat time..
i would gv up ...
wont wanted to love any1 anymore...
seriously..
after Qing hurt me,
after all d past,
i always said im tired,
this time...
i am really tired...
if me and andrew..
end up jz like that,
i would walk away,
move to somewhere else,
im tired of facing this life..
might just seems im talking jokes..
but i am serious this time..

i have no clues,
whether is he goin to dump me soon..
or maybe he will choose to love someone who appreciate him...
but all i can say
i deserve punishment cos i nvr treat him well..
if he really walk off,
i can understand..
cos i have no right to stop him walking away,
as i hurt him too many times...

he must be real happy now...
enjoying his own time..
without i keep find him...
and somehow,
he found his peaceful moment...
i have a sense,
he really leave me soon..
and i keep on scare...
none of a day i feel safe enuf..
wanted to tell out...
but .................
i couldnt speak out...

not becos he making me miserable..
he gave me a hope,
which i knw i can make it become a real things,
but becos of myself,
i cant cross over the line,
the line dat is so huge enuf for me to cross...
is becos i myself...
i hope he can be with me as long as we could
forever..

but.....
with me this kind of biatch....
how he going to stand on for so long...
even he love me...
is difficult..
he not suppose to love someone so difficult....
someone who so complicated enough till herself couldnt imagine as well..
yes,
he touched my heart...
i wanted to be with him...
but can i?
do i have the right..?
even i do,
will he treat me like he used to?
by not so cold to me?
the more he treat me so,
i really go insane...
im scared he will walk off....

sighs...
he must be feel im so annoying n useless..
even regret dat he love me at the 1st place...
till nw he couldnt get out...
sighs...
im real useless real biatch....

if he read tis,
he must be angry again..
maybe becos of this,
he cant stand on it and walk away...

im soul-less...
im nobody ade...
im sorry cos i hurt him...

Darling,
I love you...
the more i love,the more im scared.
I wish i can hold ur hand forever,
saying i love you forever..
my heart only you.
and dats became a fact...
which i could never walk away from you anymore...
how i wish u really can feel i do love u..
but seems no matter hw hard i do,
i cant really make u really feel touch enuf..
and i tried all sort of ways
to show to let u know,
i do love u...
hope dat u wont walk away..
and im clueless..
cos i dunno wat shud i do...
to let u know everytime i leave u,
my heart-ache come again..
and i feels like dying....
im not treating u as a doll,
im not throwing u away
im not dun love you..
but becos i really do love u..
and im clueless how to show u..
till im so inferiority....

yes im inferiority......


I love you ....

and i love you...

i Still love you like i never do..

and...

Im yours....................................

Darling,
just dun walk away can you?
i hope u are with me,
with u ownselves...
and so do i.......

I love you...
all i can say feel and look now...
cos im yours baby...

once im ur baby,
and its going to be as the only and forever baby ....
and i pray so hard....
to hope u r my darling forever darling.........




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