Recently just so free with my life.
Didnt back to my own home due to i want to have my peaceful moment here.
Few days more im leaving,and moving back my stuff and also myself to my own home,
which always be there.
These few days at here,
spending my time with my laptop,
sleep and eat..
Hanging out with some frens which going back to their own hometown..
which i dunno when will we meet again..
I have been crying for few days and it freaking me out..
My parent are forcing me to go back my own home which always been there,
as if they scare the house will ran away and wanted me to go back..
sometimes i keep thought about,
wats the different with i at home or not..
cause i been a quiet person in house,
been a person who always black face in house,
dun hv me,doesnt it more peaceful?
i guess they wanted me to go back,so dat the house got ppl to take care..
and i can do all the housework which nobody willing to touch it.
I tot i can have my own honeymoon after finish my course,
but guess what..
they all might jz tot for wat get a honeymoon,
come out and work more good..
Guess i go back jz gonna be a bird..
gonna pamper and protect by them
as i really a bad child which dun hv brain and hurt myself..
i wonder when only i can really fall and explore?
guess might be when im 30?
dat time i married,hv child
husband pamper me,i wasting my time,not working...
spending all the money,keep log the credit card..
cook and clean the house and waiting husband to come back.
watch tv all the time,
taking care my children,
driving a wira or proton to fetch my childs,
teaching them maths which im sux in dat..
having the life which i tot is good for me..
cos i dunwan to be sux human being..
or i can be a woman which driving mercedes benz or volksvagen,
meeting my client in pavillion,
discussing our project,
having my coffee at rome with surfing net with my macbook,
club nite in the weekend with my client,
and log my credit card without worries..
holding my HTC phone,which arranging my appointment for my next spa in spa centre..
wearing high heels and holding a gucci beg and wearing an ordinary outfit..
walking with my beloved or walking alone in the shopping centre.
fighting for our project and final result for with my colleague or my downline,which we having same direction to success.
And treating my downlines which help me in success the project in Skybar or KLCC korean restaurant.
Enjoying my time at Tenji with my family..
Paying the air ticket and trip fees for this family trip at England,
giving my dad n mum a honeymoon in Australia.
Which life i wanted the most?
of course the Ordinary woman which driving volksvagen and holding a Gucci beg..
but guess what?
that not gonna happen when im not totally explore to the reality world.
im gonna always b an useless lady which jz wasting the life with working and spending money with worries..
gosh...get a life!
boring life ...
I didnt mean dat the life being a mum which din work are sux,
jz dat comparing the both different life,
i rather my life have challenges more than having a life which jz so simple and a line,
cos i might regret cause i never fight for wat i want.
what i want i have to fight for it and scarified a lot of things..
im giving myself a chance to fight for it although im havent fully ready,
but people dun gv me chance to do what i want for.
i can imaging my life gonna be so damn fukin bored..
gosh,my Gucci and Volksvagen,