Now 2.27am,midnite of June 24, 2008,just now I went out tea with a fren of mine,which I long time never met,and tot will not b meet anymore after last time. Dunno why,cant sleep yet,maybe cos having a time which I feel comfortable in so long,cos I meet a group of people,who which same as me. Like thinkin,noe planning,know wat should we do and what our life need. Its been so long,never had someone who willing to listen what I say,and feel what the same way as mine. Although we just spend just for an hour, but what we shared, are what we learned and feel for each other. Chat with them make me remember who I am, and my way to go. Its been a long time nobody willing to listen what I say, cause in the age of 19,nobody will really think what we should do and what we shouldn’t, but when I met them,I found out, the gang which still exist, same as me, fight for our life, fight for everything just for family and for ourselves.

What we really need now,future? For the past,its been past,shouldn’t be bother about that. Kept the past,keep for future. We always said,we need plan for our future, but we only know how to plan,never take action to prove that we can make it. When you wait to the time to come,when the time reach, only you’ll realized, you wasted a lot of time of thinking and never take action. Time will never wait anyone,will not fix for everyone, that’s why we should make ourselves fix with the time, to act to do to plan whatever for our life.

In the age of 19,as what my fren said, not old not young ,in the middle, that’s the reason, we should make up our mind in what we need to do and what we shouldn’t anymore. It just like the mid of our life, for who just started to work after spm, this is the time u need to fight, cos your career just start, for those who still study, this not the time to waste, cos oni two way u can go, one continue study,second graduate and work. First as continue study, although continue, but doesn’t mean your mind still can stick to studies, your future still waiting for you. Not the time to play and just study,yes,study is for our future also,but do u really plan,to study till you 50 60 or 70? 19 is time to think and act what we plan n think,go for it! 2^nd,work,and now,the time u need put effort in work,not studies anymore, ur life become more challenging more harder. A fren of mine told me, “why don’t want use your parent money to pay for the XXX,then owe them 1^st,next time pay back lo”.. Until when,we need to owe them? Until when,we need to pay back for them? Whats come out from your mouth, it need to be real and facts. If you say owe, and you must pay,you say sorry, and you really meant to b sorry. Be responsible for your words.

Today I also learn 1 thing,life doesn’t mean studies and work,work although can earn a lot,but is it really enough for u to do whatever you want? Do you really want your parent to get a better life? Do you really want to repay your parent? If you really want the best for them, really want the best for yourself, and you should start to do something different, don’t stick to the thing u always be, be different, dare to be different.

I admit,I am a person who dare not to mix around,dare not to take the 1^st step, cos I scare of fail. I always said,I trying to be brave,trying to take the 1^st step, but I only say,never do it. Until today,the gang,told me,I should make my circle bigger, to make myself easily to get into the world for my future. What they meant are truth,I really need to make myself more brave,and tough. People who understand what I meant, I really will listen what they said, cos they know what I meant and what I want, and only can tell me who I am. I also admit, im lost for the pass few months, cos that time was the moment which make me sad, but start from now, I found back the real me, and I should start, to fight for my everything.

I learned, realized and understand more on what people need and feel. And I slowly found out the world, finally got the people who are similar with me. Fate made us met, and made us what we be, and we should always appreciate it. In the conclusion, I really learned something in just an hour in this day,this week,this year ,this moment. Thanks to them who shared.

Lilian

24 June 2008

2.53am